Interview with Autumn Hill

by Brandon

As promised, here is my interview with Books From Hale fan, Autumn Hill (decided through a random drawing). In the interview, Autumn has stated she’s an artist. To honor art, I have decided to present this interview as if Autumn has been captured by a crazed serial killer and forced to answer all his questions. All of Autumn’s answers are unaltered, although I may have altered my questions a bit, just to fit my new serial killer interview theme…

Killer: Tell me about yourself…

Autumn: I’m a mom…

Killer: TELL ME MORE!

Autumn: I’m a mom, an artist and an art teacher (though I’m not teaching right now). I love people, but I don’t really understand them at all. I have major Peter Pan syndrome…I’ve never grown up and don’t have any desire to.

Killer: Thank you. That is indeed more. You shall live a few more moments. My dog tells me that I have to rid the world of all who do not contribute to it in an artistic way. So I ask you… what is your art?

Autumn: I draw, paint and sculpt a little. I’ve mostly worked with watercolor and ink for the past few years and I’m really into pop-surrealism.

Killer: NOT GOOD ENOUGH YOU DIE!

Autumn: I’m also wickedly talented with the kazoo…

Killer: Ah… that kazoo… just saved your pathetic little life…. Does that scare you? Is this like some terrifying movie?

Autumn: Unfortunately I haven’t been really scared by a movie in a long time.

Killer: YOU LIE!

Autumn: The first one that scared the pee out of me was The Amityville Horror. That scene at the end with Jody in the window gave me an irrational fear of pigs for years. I also remember being traumatized by the scene in Hellraiser II when the guy is screaming “Get ‘em off me!”and trying to scrape off the maggots with a razor, majorly terrifying! They just don’t make movies like those anymore.

Killer: What about books, then… perhaps I’m as scary as the scariest book you’ve ever read… what is that book… TELL ME NOW OR DIE!!!

Autumn: I can’t really choose a specific book, but my favorite story is “The Thing on the Doorstep” by H.P. Lovecraft. I love all of his work though, it’s really mind-blowing. I’m also crazy about Stephen King, just about everything he’s written is gold to me. Both authors have this great ability to tap into the reader’s psyche and bring their fears to life. I think this is one of the reasons that every movie based on a Lovecraft or King story ends up falling completely flat. They both have this magical way of conjuring up evils that play out perfectly in the mind, but can’t be translated into reality.

Killer: WRONG! You did not mention Brandon Hale, author of Day Soldiers! Which, by the way, is now available on Amazon, both in paperback and for the kindle! Just click the link to the right and join in the fight against the darkness today!

But I digress…

Your lack of answering correctly means you die! You have but one chance to save yourself… answer this question… If someone told you they didn’t like Day Soldiers, would you consider stabbing them in the eye with a screwdriver?

Autumn: Most definitely! I carry a screwdriver in my purse just for that purpose!

Killer: You live for now. But more importantly… who would win in a fight between Bruce Lee and a velociraptor in a cage match, no weapons? ANSWER QUICKLY AS IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT BECAUSE IT DOES!

Autumn: Bruce Lee, because he has a long history of kicking ass… what do the velociraptors have besides Jurassic Park?

Killer: WRONG!!! The velociraptor always wins unless super powers are involved! Do you have super powers?

Autumn: Yes! I can turn any song into a parody about cats or poop. It’s amazing & very mysterious.

Killer: That’s pretty cool, actually. So you could turn Safety Dance into a song about cats…. Interesting…

NO! You are trying to charm me with your abilities! It will not work! But still… you do seem to have a politician’s gift for words… so tell me… if you were a politician, what laws would you support in regards to velociraptor?

Autumn: I would end this barbaric practice of pitting them against kung-fu superstars in cage matches with no weapons. It’s inhumane, really.

Killer: WRONG!

No, wait. That’s right, actually.

Okay… last question… this question will determine whether you live or die… so tell me, Autumn Hill…

What is best in life?

Autumn: True love, my family & friends, fluffy-puffy kitties and my bed.

Killer: Damn. That’s not the answer I had in mind, but it is a good answer… let me check with my dog….

Okay… I checked with the dog and the verdict is…

YOU LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!

Now get the hell out of my dungeon before I change my mind!

________________

I’d like to thank Autumn for doing an interview with Books From Hale. Here are some actual pictures of Autumn’s artwork. I must say, her stuff is very impressive.

 

 


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