I realized tonight that I’ve never actually watched the George C. Scott version of A Christmas Carol, so I decided to give it a go.
I started watching it about 10pm.
The next day, I woke up and looked at my clock.
“Wow,” I grumbled as I climbed to my feet. “I must’ve dozed off during the movie… and I slept really late.”
I stretched, yawned, then glanced at the window.
It was dark outside.
And I don’t mean it was “It’s cloudy” dark.
It was pitch black.
I, of course, assumed the only thing any reasonable man would assume in that situation.
“Oh my Lord,” I whispered, “the apocalypse has come!”
I quickly scanned the bedroom. My wife was nowhere to be found.
“LAURA!” I screamed as I ran from the room.
My wife was sitting on the living room couch, reading.
“What the hell are you doing!” I screamed.
She looked up from her book and sighed. “I’m reading. And you have that ‘I’m acting like an idiot’ look in your eyes right now.”
“Well, Miss Smartie-pants,” I said, “if you don’t think the FREAKING APOCALYPSE is a good enough reason to ‘act like an idiot,’ then I guess you’re just a better person than I am!”
Yeah, I used the F word.
Cut me some slack. It was the apocalypse.
Anyway, my wife’s response: She sighed.
“So that’s your reaction,” I said. “The apocalypse has come and you’re gonna just sit there and sigh. Real nice. Yeah. Real nice.”
“Bran,” she said, “I’m editing your book. This needs to get done.”
“FOR WHAT!” I screamed. “THERE’S NOBODY AROUND TO READ IT ANYMORE!”
“Go in there,” she said.
“Anywhere. I really need to get this done.”
I took several breaths.
She obviously didn’t believe me.
“Look outside,” I said, trying my best to sound calm.
She looked outside, then went back to her reading.
“Uh,” I stammered, “did you even see how dark it is out there?”
“Then why the hell aren’t you freaking out? IT’S PITCH BLACK OUT THERE!”
“It’s supposed to be pitch black,” she said.
“Yeah!” I screamed. “It’s the apocalypse!”
“No,” she said. “It’s midnight.”
“HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM!” I yelled. “THE WORLD IS… wait, what?”
“It’s supposed to be dark,” she said, “because it’s always dark at midnight.”
She smiled. “Yeah. You were asleep for like 2 hours.”
“I’m gonna go write a review for A Christmas Carol.”
“You thought you slept through the night, didn’t you. You thought it was noon.”
“Shuddup,” I mumbled as I left the room.
As for the movie, I’m assuming it was pretty good. I mean, George C. Scott’s a pretty awesome actor.