My Thoughts on the Duck Dynasty Controversy…

by Brandon

Normally, I wouldn’t bother posting about this, for two reasons:

1. I avoid politics on this blog unless I’m deeply moved by an issue.
2. I’ve never watched Duck Dynasty, so I have no idea who these people are.

However, comments about this controversy have absolutely flooded all my social network feeds, which tells me people care deeply about this very important issue. Since this is something people care about, I see it as my duty to my readers to research this issue and weigh in on it. I immediately hit the search engines so I could learn more about this Phil Robertson person. What I discovered was quite incredible…

When I saw his picture, my first thought was, “Oh. My. God. Phil Robertson is a freaking floating head!”

Seriously. Look at that picture.

The guy is a floating head!

How did I not hear about this? When did we achieve this technology and how the hell did I miss it?

We finally have the technology to bring Jambi the Genie from Pee Wee’s Playhouse to life and I have somehow been blissfully ignorant of this incredible achievement.

I’ll be honest here. I’m just flabbergasted by this. I’m flabbergasted that we have achieved this technology and I’m flabbergasted that I hadn’t heard about it until now.

And most importantly, I’m flabbergasted that everybody on the social networks are talking about what he said instead of talking about the fact that he’s a FLOATING HEAD!

I can’t find anything online about how he got this way. Was it an operation? Was he born that way? Perhaps it was magic. I mean, from the looks of that beard, he’s clearly a wizard.

If he is a wizard, perhaps we shouldn’t be so quick to insult him about the controversial things he said. I admit, in Lord of the Rings, when Gandalf yells, “BILBO BAGGINS! I’M NOT TRYING TO ROB YOU!” I got pretty scared. Wizards are clearly badasses. Maybe we should think twice before intentionally trying to piss off this floating head wizard.

Something to think about.


p.s. Mekka Lekka Hi, Mekka Heiny Ho.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Pee Wee Herman December 19, 2013 at 5:41 PM

I can’t wait for next year when I get to dress as a racist, bigoted, duck hunting floating head for Halloween! Man! Why is October so far away!!!????


Doug Lamoreux December 20, 2013 at 3:24 AM

Your blog would probably have left me verklempt… But I can’t spell verklempt. Carry on.


Lyn Brooks December 20, 2013 at 7:46 AM

I really like your post Brandon. I hadn’t noticed that he is a floating head, but now that you mention it, I think you are right! It reminds me of the digital character, Max Headroom (which you are too young to know what I am talking about.) Anywho…I have never seen DD, so I don’t know, but my gut feeling is, regardless of what someone says or does, if you don’t like them, or their show, or their product or whatever, turn the channel, or just don’t buy it. I will also say that I think regardless of what someone does or does not believe, it would be nice if everyone would show a bit more patience, kindness and tolerance towards others, regardless of their politics, or beliefs, religion, opinions or whatever. One final point I will make, I really don’t see why people even pay attention to, not to mention get bent out of shape over, what any “star” be they an actor, athlete whatever, I don’t see why the public cares about what they say or do in their private lives? Why do we all assume fame means that the particular person’s opinion or actions matter? Anyway, that’s just my two cents – not that it matters.


traci December 20, 2013 at 11:47 AM

I think he’s a time traveler, to be honest, like the “Face of Bo” if you know what I mean. And I don’t like it. I don’t think time traveling, floating heads deserve the same rights the rest of us do, and I think it’s up to me to make sure the government upholds my opinion on that. So that’s why I’m Facebooking, because everyone knows that change starts at Facebook.
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