Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters Review

by Brandon

I make my wife watch a ton of nerdy movies. From super heroes to horror to sci fi, I make her watch a lot of stuff she normally wouldn’t watch. To be fair, though, she does enjoy some of it. She particularly likes good sci fi and horror.

But yeah, she watches a ton of movies just to support me.

So to be fair, if there’s a movie my wife wants to see in the theater (which is rare), we go watch it. Because my wife is a fan of Young Adult fiction, we went yesterday to watch Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters, which was very appropriate because I soon discovered “sea of monsters” was the theme for the day…

On the way to the movie, I turned on the car radio. The person on the radio was reporting that scientists have recently discovered that lobster cannibalism has reached unprecedented proportions.

That’s right.

Wild lobsters are now eating each other on a regular basis.

Seriously. Google it if you don’t believe me.

In captivity, lobsters have been known to eat each other, but honestly… I think they do that as a mercy killing. I mean, they have to sit there while the humans browse their tanks, indiscriminately deciding which lobsters live and which lobsters die. So in captivity, I think they probably eat each other as a way to say “Screw you” to the humans.

But until very recently, it hasn’t been common in nature.

Now it is. The lobsters are eating each other.

The scientists have no idea why this is happening. The most popular theory is that the warming temperatures have caused them to be much more prolific in regards to reproduction and they’re keeping their own numbers in check by eating each other. So apparently, scientists think lobsters have somehow obtained a copy of “A Modest Proposal” by Jonathan Swift.

That’s complete nonsense.

The explanation for why this is happening is blatantly obvious:

They’re lobsters.

I don’t eat seafood. I can’t stand it. From fish to crustaceans, the smell makes me rather sick. If a creature crawls out of the sea, the last thing I want to do is eat that disgusting monstrosity.

That said, I know many people who love seafood. And most of these people say lobster is among the best seafood there is. They say lobster is absolutely delicious.

So obviously, these lobsters have finally discovered just how good they taste.

It makes sense.

Lobsters eat seafood.

Most people I know who like seafood say lobsters are delicious.

So it stands to reason that lobsters would find lobsters delicious.

I don’t know why scientists are spending so much time studying this when they should be spending their time on more important things… like curing that weird tongue condition Miley Cyrus has.

–Brandon

p.s. My wife liked the Percy Jackson movie. I mean, it’s not going to change your life or anything, but if you liked the first one, you’ll probably like this one.

p.p.s. Also, Giles from Buffy plays the centaur in this. It was cool seeing him again.

 


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