Review – Star Trek: The Video Game

by Brandon

My wife bought me Star Trek: The Video Game for my birthday. This is an especially kind gift because my wife hates Star Trek.

That’s right.

My wife hates Star Trek.

Before you start writing hate mail to my wife, let me just say that she makes up for this deficiency well. She loves Star Wars, she watches super hero movies with me, she dresses up with me for all our Halloween outings, she’s a gamer, and she fully supports my love of Star Trek. Hell, this past Christmas, she bought me a DVD pack with Star Treks 1 through 6.

So considering the amount of other cool things she does, I’m willing to take a deep breath and just accept that she doesn’t like Star Trek.

However…

After she bought me this game, she became dreadfully unsupportive of my love of Trek.

I’ll explain.

Before I opened the game, I did what any normal person would do: I put on my yellow Starfleet shirt (a Christmas gift from Garv from QRE) and I began to rearrange the living room furniture so it more closely resembled the bridge of the USS Enterprise.

As I pulled the Captain’s Chair (my computer chair) to the center of the room, my wife walked in and said, “What are you doing?”

Strike one.

She didn’t say, “Oh, cool. The bridge of the Enterprise.” She didn’t say, “This is awesome!”

Nope. She just asked, “What are you doing?”

Totally unsupportive.

“I’m setting up the bridge of the Enterprise,” I said in a tone that clearly indicated my disappointment in her.

“Okay,” she said. “Just put it back when you’re done.”

Strike two.

Put it back?

What the hell?

The proper response would be, “This is awesome! We should keep it this way!”

Well, I know forgiveness is important to a relationship, so I chose to forgive her attitude.

I walked to my office and turned up the volume on my computer so it could be heard from the living room. I pulled up You Tube and began to play this video:

“Okay,” my wife said, “I know you want to enjoy your game, but is this really necessary?”

“Yes,” I said flatly.

“I planned to go to your office and read while you played your game,” she said. “This will make it difficult.”

Strike. Three.

“Explain to me,” I snapped, “how I can set this room up to be the Enterprise without the sound effects? It’s like Superman without the John Williams theme!”

“That new Superman movie,” my wife said, “won’t have the John Williams theme. I’m assuming you’re not going to watch it because of that?”

“Get real,” I said. “I plan to listen to the John Williams theme on my headphones when I go see Man of Steel.

“Well,” my wife said, “I’d like to be able to read without the Star Trek sound effects. Besides, won’t the game have its own sounds? Why do you need the extra noise?”

“It’s for when I have to pause the game,” I said. “You know, I don’t get it. Why did you get me this game if you’re not going to let me play it properly?”

“When you put on that shirt, I didn’t say anything. When you rearranged the living room, I didn’t complain. All I’m asking is that you don’t have that sound booming throughout the house.”

“If you don’t want me to play this game,” I said, “you shouldn’t have bought it!”

“I want you to play the game,” my wife said, “but I know what’s going to happen. You’re not going to play it. You’re going to get so excited about your living room Enterprise that you’ll get on video chat with Gary and spend the day pretending to be a space fleet captain.”

“Starfleet,” I said. “It’s called Starfleet.”

“Whatever,” my wife said. “Have fun with the game. It’s your birthday present, so I’ll adjust. I guess I can just listen to my own music with headphones.”

I walked over and took my wife’s hand in mine. “My dear,” I said, “you just saved our marriage.”

My wife just smiled, shook her head, said, “Have fun with Gary,” then left the room.

With that crisis averted, I booted up my X-box. Immediately I saw that Gary was online and decided to show him my set-up before I booted up the game.

I requested a video chat.

He was appropriately impressed.

An hour later, my wife stepped back into the living room and said, “How is it?”

“How is what?” I asked.

She looked at the TV and saw Gary’s face. “You haven’t played it yet, have you.”

I looked at her and – in my best captain’s voice – said, “Go back to your work station, ensign. I’ll call you if I need you.”

So that’s my experience with Star Trek: The Video Game.

I’m absolutely loving it so far!

–Brandon

p.s. Once I actually play it, I’ve promised to do a second review for the guys over at QRE.

p.p.s. UPDATE: I’ve played it and here’s the review over at the Quiet Room.

_____________________________________________________

Don’t forget, Day Soldiers – the first novel in Brandon’s Day Soldiers series – is currently FREE! Hop on over to Amazon and pick up your copy today!

 

 


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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Doug Lamoreux April 24, 2013 at 4:06 PM

God you make me laugh. Happy Birthday.

Reply

Brandon April 24, 2013 at 4:12 PM

Thanks. :)

Reply

Lyn Brooks April 24, 2013 at 4:16 PM

I am still laughing. Love your posts! BTW, I had no idea that Laura did not like Star Trek!

Reply

Brandon April 24, 2013 at 4:18 PM

Yeah. It’s a real stain on our relationship, Lyn, but we’re dealing with it.

Reply

Doug April 24, 2013 at 5:10 PM

Well?
What about the game? Any good?
Sheesh.

Reply

Doug April 24, 2013 at 5:13 PM

I also meant to add -awesome write up once again. :)

Stupid fake return key

Reply

Brandon April 24, 2013 at 5:16 PM

HA! Well, Doug, I’ll be writing a more game-centric review for Quiet Room a little later, but the short version: If you’re a big fan of the Abrams Star Trek franchise, there’s plenty to love about this game. If you’re getting this game purely for the gameplay, there are better games out there right now.

Reply

Fisher April 24, 2013 at 8:13 PM

This sounds like something I would do to bug the hell out of Misty. I have actually done something similar. I told her I was going to build a Lego Town. She hasn’t been able to use her kitchen table for 8 months now. Or the counter behind the sink. If I get a train, she’s in for it. I will be sending it back and forth from the office room with an empty glass for her to fill.

Reply

Brandon April 24, 2013 at 11:11 PM

You’re doing husbandry right.

Reply

Justin August 14, 2015 at 10:52 PM

I love stories like this one! Thanks for sharing… It made my day! =D Real nice…
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d_gamer February 8, 2016 at 2:37 PM

I got the Xbox 360 version but I heard that PC co-op wasn’t working but as the Xbox version goes it ok it’s not the best it’s got a lot of bugs but its a good story as it goes the gameplays ok it’s basically just using your tricorder and shooting your gun that’s about it that’s how you sum it up but don’t get me wrong it’s a great game the co-op is basically the same in my opinion.
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