The 5 Most Awesome Moments of 2013

by Brandon

This has been an eventful year, without a doubt. A lot has happened in 2013… the world got a new Pope, we’ve dealt with political gridlock, we’ve had a government shutdown, we’ve argued over healthcare, we were horrified to see that Hannah Montana got possessed by a demon, we saw the country go apeshit over something a duck hunter said…

Yeah, it was a crazy year. When making my list, I had so many moments to choose from, it was quite overwhelming at times… but now that I’m done, I feel good about the moments I chose.

So, without further ado, I give you…

The Top 5 Moments of 2013:

#5: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Admits to Smoking Crack

After endless denials, Rob Ford finally admitted to smoking crack, explaining he probably did it during one of his “drunken stupors.”

This man is clearly the Hercules of politicians. I mean, the dude used a drunken stupor as his justification for smoking crack. I knew, in that moment, the world was about to change…

For the record, I’m not condoning the act of smoking crack. Crack is awful and nobody should do it…. but when I saw that admission, I knew… in my heart of hearts… that this confession was the beginning of something great… and it didn’t take him long to prove me right…

#4 Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Dances at Work

On this glorious day, Mr. Ford showed us that he is a man of many talents. Not only is he adept at drunken stupors and smoking crack… on this video, he showed us that he is also a fabulous dancer.

#3 Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Runs Over a Coworker

Ain’t nothin’ gonna’ break Rob Ford’s stride… not even this poor councilwoman…

#2 Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Admits to Buying Drugs While in Office, but Stays in Office

“Have you purchased illegal drugs in the past two years?”

*very long pause*

“Yes, I have.”

And yeah… he’s still the mayor. That’s power you can’t buy.

 

And the number one moment of 2013 is…

*drum roll*

#1 Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Responds to Sexual Harassment Allegations

Okay. This video really speaks for itself…

**WARNING: THIS VIDEO DOES CONTAIN PROFANITY**

Honorable Mentions:

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Curses in Front of Children.

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Walks Into a Camera.

***

So there you have it! The top 5 moments of 2103.

I’m sure other stuff probably happened in 2013, but to be honest, if the headline didn’t begin with “Toronto Mayor Rob Ford…” I didn’t pay much attention to it.

–Brandon

Disclaimer: I, Brandon Hale, neither endorse nor condone any of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s actions or statements. It’s like Darth Vader. I think Dark Vader is an awesome character, but that doesn’t mean I support choking employees to death just for pulling out of light speed too close to the system.

Happy New Year, folks!

 


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